Counselor not Competitor

Counselor not Competitor

We all have the need for counsel in our lives because honestly no one knows it all. Some are skilled with children more than others, relationship building more than others, spiritual warfare more than others and I believe it’s that way so we can always be reminded that there is strength in numbers and always a need for iron to sharpen iron.
As women we are called to teach other younger women very specific things and I think even if the woman is not younger I think we as women have a responsibility to care about the welfare of other women in general and I think the lack of taking on that task responsibly and with joy has landed us in the state we are in as women.
There are two areas that I see women really complicating things for each other and it’s mostly through jealousy where we are not genuine in our dealings with each other and as women have become extremely selfish because since their are needs of partnership being met their is no concern for other women they are simply perceived as a competitor and this is not of God.

Titus chapter 2:3-4 tells us how as elder women we should conduct ourselves and how through our behavior we can guide the younger ones. Considering that according to God, as older women we are perceived to be arole model to a younger woman at some point we developed this misconception that we should compete with them.
I hear so many women right now saying how the Bible is outdated and the times have changed but here’s the thing The Most High God doesn’t change. What he said was good for us then is still good like fellowship with other believers and godly friends and pairings and the covenant of marriage and avoiding premarital sex etc. But one thing I’m not really understanding is the selfishness with information and competitiveness between women when we are all here struggling to make it into God’s kingdom and some women young and old have totally lost their way.

It is to no surprise that as the world continues to fall away the value systems of of people who are falling would also however those who are in Christ know that our responsibilities and the expectations of us as followers of Christ do not. When the world is falling it means that you are now called to stand and we as women especially the elders are called to help the younger women stand as well. Rather we are encouraging them to stand, to seek purity before unity, or just teaching them how to conduct ourselves as women we have that expectation upon us as women to assist each other and right now I see a problem with elder women who some are my peers and others are my elders and someone needs to say it.

We are called to help each other become women of God before we gain everything else. You are a woman before you get married before you have children, before becoming business owners and this is something we should delight in assisting others to be. But what I’m seeing right now is, instead of counsel there is competition from the elder women and sometimes but very rarely from the younger. There is no genuine happiness for each other. Their is no true happiness for the women who are getting it right and breaking curses and there is no spiritual provision for the lost from the elders either.

Instead of sisterhood in Christ, I see competitive spirits and joy when witnessing each other’s downfall all while proclaiming to be women of God. We do not protect the secrets of our peers or the younger sisters and instead of admonishing them in love, we exploit them and are not careful in our dealings with them or our advice. What I see is the “elders” that see the giftings and the callings of these younger women or their peers for that matter and it is the elders that intentionally tell them things to hinder their walk.

I’ve heard from my own peers and elders to “live your best life” before you settle down and we all know it means to do whatever you want however you want loosely with other men. Ive seen where women are happy to share information told in confidence to strangers about their so called friends or younger women as if they are happy to exploit them. I’ve seen the elder woman happy to be the side chick, or pass an assessment on other women they don’t even know and for no reason at all just because they were insecure and intimidated.

Overall I see a lack of genuine concern and authenticity towards other women that are their sisters, so called friends or younger women, it’s simply what’s best for them and them alone and how do we feel like any of our situations will be blessed as we walk in selfishness.

I love the Proverbs 31 woman because she is fully capable of tending to her husband, her children, her work and her friends. She is meticulous about maintaining all her roles and she wakes up early to make sure everyone is good. As we all understand that all people are not the same, in this Proverb we do see a standard and I say it’s something worth striving for because this woman doesn’t neglect to tend to one area over the other she is present for them all and takes joy in doing so.

Ironically I meet a lot of younger women now more so on a consistent basis and they all need something I can give them and my elder sisters in Christ have something that I need as well. The continual lending to these relationships adds the balance you don’t even realize you need and it’s an area of fulfillment because it’s our biblical call to duty as women. I know a lot of women who say “I don’t get a long with women” or “I don’t have friends” and I used to think this was ok for some people but the more I was around those women I saw that it was their selfishness and insecurities that were the real obstacles.

In the end even my dealings with them dwindled despite of the fact that I don’t share the same premise with those women but their presence in my life almost made me come into agreement with that and had I done that I would have never come into my calling to specifically aid other women.
Regardless of who you are or what gifts you carry their is someone else who needs what you have and we as women are called to be supportive and aid in gaining souls. It’s ok to be a safe haven for not just the men and children in our lives but for the women as well who if nothing else need our counsel and experience.
It’s interesting to watch an elder dress the same, speak and carry themselves the same as their younger counterparts and then wonder in bewilderment why the younger generations are so lost. Their mentors and elders have dropped the ball.

When the younger sisters exploit themselves it is the elders who smirk in disgust, and yet do not consider the moment a teachable one. Rather the younger sister accepts correction or not it doesn’t matter it’s still your mantle as a woman to show her the correct way.
Don’t be this woman when being asked for advice there is strategic misguidance because instead of blessing this young sister who is struggling you consider your age and opportunities lost and so where she should see you as a teacher she can’t because you see her as a threat. Don’t be the woman who is above being available to assist because someone else’s needs stand in the way of your plans.
There is nothing more rewarding than to see a sister turn a new leaf whose ear you held the season prior that you stewarded well. I pray to the Most High God that we as elder women allow ourselves to be seen the way He sees us as useful and purposeful to him no matter your age and lot in life, or marital status. Instead of perceiving what didn’t go as expected in your life consider that this is an opportunity to edify someone who hasn’t experienced the missed opportunities that you did as a way to glorify the Most High.

Guess what sister as you are turning your nose up and turning your head away from the needs of that sister as your head sits on top of your stiffneck God sees it. Don’t sit on your high horse because you are married with responsibilities or because you are too busy being single to notice a friend. Take the mantle of elder or really woman just as serious as Yah intended it to be and don’t neglect the task we have as women because you have a spirit of jealousy you have yet to bind. I pray this message locates you humbly and you start the day seeing opportunities with other women who need what you have.

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