I’ve been asked if I have become some kind of fanatic over God and hey maybe I have. People ask me how long have I been in the truth as if the amount of time you have been a believer somehow proves your dedication and sincerity of following the Most High. The old me wanted to take offense to these questions but how could I really, I mean I had been in the world far longer than I had accepted the Messiah as my lord and savior. Unknowingly I had proven to be more of an advocate of Satan with my prior worldly views for the majority of my life, so the questioning of it rather I like it or not, truly is justified.
I remember thinking when I was young, ”Wow God is really present with them” (whoever they were as far as I was concerned it wasn’t me) and I used to envy the pure devotion people had for God because I could not relate. My naïve understanding and perhaps Satan’s blinders did not allow me to see all the times I didn’t die, all I had been spared of, or to count what almost could have happened and that did not as blessings. I didn’t understand hedges and how ancestral sin as well as my own, would break a hedge and how brutal life would be without that hedge. I knew nothing of generational curses or the spirits of rejection that cross the womb with you as an infant as a result of habitual sin in your bloodline. I did not feel God’s presence like the Christians I knew. I often questioned was God there and so it was easy for me to fall into heavy sin believing the lies of Satan. At some point though, I began to realize that God was nudging me and only after His years of his intense nudges and more years of my disobedience did I answer. In hindsight I wondered had he not been nudging me the whole time or was I too busy being worldly to feel it. Had I bought into Satan’s plan for my life, which was to be my own God and create my own happiness so much so that as much as I noticed everything, I didn’t take notice that my creator that created me was calling for me to follow him.
When I reflected on all the messengers he sent me that I had shot down or ridiculed in my mind or mistook their their meekness as a weakness, I realized He had been protecting me and giving me grace the whole entire time. I, in my intellectual conceit was not only wrong about his presence but I was straight up playing myself and whatever I thought to put my hands on because I never considered God had a plan for me. I realized what the messengers he sent me had that I didn’t, bigger than a full understanding of what was going on in the world that I didn’t think they had, is Faith. Faith is by far the most priceless thing you can have and respect for God goes right along with it. No matter how far I have come with my understanding of the bible and its history and many teachers, Faith and the compassion of God is not something that I got from being taught but rather experienced. I have felt so convicted that it took me so long to see how active God and his angels were in my life and not only did he love me but he loved me with my hedges broken. As much as I prided myself on being “smart” how could I miss that I was being deceived by Satan and for so long at that. The pride we develop from of overcoming struggles we think we are overcoming alone is a trick of the devil. Even the strength we develop and sound mind we have through constant warfare is a gift from the Most High. To think that the gifts God has given us such as a sound mind, peace, joy, and an ability to think and reason is something that we have given ourselves off of our own merit is not only prideful and arrogant but delusional and comes right before our destruction.
After realizing my life without God in the forefront was a spiritually grave mistake, I came to understand that the path to follow him is not only narrow but it is truly a tightrope. One thing about a tight rope is that not only do you have to balance and everyone is watching you but usually there are not several on a tight rope. The one who is on it is very high up in the air and the drop to the bottom is a long one and much turmoil awaits at the bottom. The narrow path to walk with the Most High is very similar, there will not be many on the path with you, the path requires you to take the “high road”, the drop can be steep and there are many outcomes awaiting at the bottom and none of which are good. It is pretty evident that God is straightforward and requires discipline and obedience to be able to walk the narrow path. I ask God about everything now, even simple things and I am comforted with the peace of knowing I am never alone and it is fine that I do not know where He is leading me. The part that makes the walk a tough one is that most likely you will lose friends, people may accuse you of going crazy, becoming a fanatic, family will separate, you may find yourself under constant persecution even in your church home oddly enough, and let us not forget the demonic attacks. One thing about real repentance, as heaven rejoices for that one repentant sinner, Satan’s army will do everything they can to use every legal right that they have against you to keep you in spiritual bondage. I guess my prior interest in law panned out because you must study God’s law to show you are approved to fight Satan and his legal experts. They know the law very well and that is why they are there whispering in your ear to persuade you to break it. This is why the path is a narrow one and few will be willing to give up the things they used to do or have the courage to stand against the Kingdom of Darkness and the battle it initiates with us everyday in an ongoing war.
Matthew 7:22 says, On that day many will say to me, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do mighty works in your name?” And I will declare to them, I never knew you depart from me ye that work iniquity.” The sad thing about this is that it is directed to believers, which prove believing is not all that is required of us. The unbelievers would not be casting out devils while using a name that they did not believe in so this applies to the church. Those who more specifically, are a part of the lukewarm, the one with one foot in and one foot out, who prays to him as if he is some type of genie simply here to grant wishes and has no requirements of us past our belief. If we love Him we will worship in spirit and in truth which means to adhere to sound doctrine and study to shew thyself approved 2 Timothy 2:15.
What is so amazing about God is that he is forgiving, merciful and his anger doesn’t last but for a moment. Though the path is narrow and what waits for those who don’t follow it is a pit, His laws are not burdensome and if we could see in the spiritual realm as He can, we would see why life depends on obedience. Just as a child who cannot see or understand the danger up ahead as parents do.
Chose to walk the narrow path, the tight rope, because the fall is always a hard one that leads to a very deep ditch. While it is a narrow path only leading to a hard drop to a deep ditch, God is faithful. Allow Him to steer you because you cannot see the road, why bother to worry about the direction He is leading you to as The Most High is a perfect navigator.