Out of the Wilderness

Out of the Wilderness

When I started my 30s I was excited. People told me my 30s would be an enjoyable time of stability. Little did I know I would end up comparing these ten years to a roller coaster ride.

In these 10 years I:
Ended a long term relationship with a restraining order, leaving town to hide
Was stalked and followed on multiple occasions by different people
Learned to fast
Learned to see the power of God
Dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts
Dealt with mental and spiritual torment
Lost my job
Nearly lost my car and home
Got married
Gained a family
Almost lost my life
Lost several family members
Lost two pregnancies
Lost best friends
Gained new friends
Learned about deliverance
Stopped caring about what others thought of me
Faced rejection from those closest to me
Got alone with God
Realized God was all I needed
Stood alone on faith
Thought I’d lost my marriage
Started ministry work

At the end of this journey, my husband had me wear a blindfold as he led me to my surprise birthday party. I couldn’t see where we were going, I could only feel the ups and downs and twists and turns of the road. It felt like a rollercoaster ride. It was nerve-wracking. But, he kept telling me he was still there, still with me. It seemed he was driving around in figure-eights. I was disoriented and confused but I didn’t know he was waiting for the right parking spot, right in front. Still blindfolded I let him lead me by the hand to the event hall. He kept talking to me, telling taking me by the hand and telling me what to do. Then at his cue I could take the blindfold off and see what was awaiting me.

Some said to me that they couldn’t believe that I would let him blindfold me, they said they would never go for it.

I trusted him.

What I’m now realizing on this last day of my 30s is that the love of the husband represents the love of my Heavenly Father. And that journey to the event hall was like my 30s. It felt scary, but all I needed was to trust my Heavenly Father. He never left me. He’s always been there. And He will continue to be.
He has a reward waiting for me, I only need to put my faith in Him and trust the process.
I’m not the same person I was 10 years so …God is transforming me. And at midnight, when I cross over to 40, to the number of a generation, I will enter a new chapter- and this new me will take hold of my Father’s hand so that He can lead me forth.

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