Testimony of Jillian McLeod:
My denouncement of these two organizations is not so much about the organizations in themselves as much as it is about my identity, one that had been hidden from me; put away by others craftily and deceptively to intuitively be missed and unrealized. This identity is one I share with a multitude of people, who like me were in the dark and have only been given a marginalized position in society with no clear explanation for that position. Past being descendants of slaves, there was never any reason for all of the strange and targeted attacks against Blacks in America besides the color of the skin.
I always wondered at how we even bought into that explanation when essentially the majority of the world’s population is brown. Lighter skinned blacks are also a part of this narrative so it became much less about skin color for me but this group had to have been linked to something greater than what was being said. I wondered what was so threatening and important about THIS brown group so hated by other nations.
Upon deep research, ironically I found that it has everything to do with my initial feelings I felt in my church experience that I came to later realize that not only was the answer in relation to church symbolism but also there was a diabolical program in place for real answers to never be told there. For many others who are like me, we walked in a church and there was always something missing; some mystery m that had not been solved with a question not many even knew to think of or if they did would ever ask. We were aware there was an elephant in the room whose presence I felt much louder than the church organ and the regurgitated “Jesus loves me” and “prosperity sermons” I heard over and over whenever I attended. The endless “Amens” from the congregation of people I knew personally who lived completely different lives from Monday to the wee hours of Sunday morning that were contrary to the word of God, did not help my stance very much either. Of course not all churches were this way, and sometimes a good Biblically motivated speech can get you from Sunday to about Wednesday, but I grew tired of battling some unseen force where everyone around me became comfortable with suffering. Church hurt is the worst heartbreak because it is supernaturally intended to lose the sheep that religiously showed up every Sunday intently searching for something deeper that the pastor pretended to supply. Some how after you tithe and passed the collection plate around for the third time in one sitting and traveled home you knew that you were robbed because you left without an answer to your question but a feel good word in its place.
It was only after hearing Deuteronomy Chapter 28 be read to me by a man who knew something he felt was connected to me and I needed to know it that I began to “see” myself in the bible. I recognized from that very moment that my Israelite roots not only tied my family to this chapter, but also to all of the Israelite families whose lives were chronicled since Genesis. I saw just then why the attack against us was so fierce and brutal because it was actually a sentence from God and that humbled me. I understood why Jesus was whitewashed so we could not connect the dots of his image to ours. I understood why they can’t understand why a black life should matter, because that black life was an Israelite life. I understood that I was a part of those who would remember themselves in the land of their captors and there was a responsibility tied in to that revelation. Though my part did not come to me right away, I understood the magnitude of slavery that was as a result of strong chastisement for disobedience from my ancestors who were involved in a multitude of habitual sinning against the Most High God. It became so much of a humbling situation that the fear of the Most High that I had never felt in that way before began to stir in my emotions. After months of tears from Godly shame that has since put me on a path that seems to be one of endless repentance, I saw where I committed the same sins that sent my ancestors into captivity and I knew I had to repent to be restored. Repenting was not easy at first. All of those sins have been so easy to commit and were craftily reintroduced and thrust into our culture and lost heritage. The traditions, the expectations, the lies were so overwhelming to where it seemed to be impossible to break free from them.
Nonetheless, it took me a minute to understand that I was multiple generations in to a curse. The longer it had been there, the tougher the strongman and I’ve been in a battle against it since birth only now with conscious did I sign up for it. Part of the problem was my perception. Never did I perceive myself to be an idolater because I did not understand I was literally bowing down to another entity as an initiate in these organizations. In error, I viewed celebrities who used the same hand signals as the Deltas and other PanHellenic council members as copycats, not recognizing the symbolism as ancient. I saw checkered board floors as cool color patterns and did not consider the excess of them everywhere as anything I should think of as odd or off besides it being something that was trendy. I did not fully grasp that being in a “Covenant until the Day of Judgment” was something that should particularly alarm me; to me it was just worded funny. I did not understand the meaning behind the lengthy oaths and blasphemous chants and songs I partook in. I did not recognize I was forming a witch’s circle as I sang the sweetheart song to my newly wedded ship because since I did not sign up to be a witch then I wasn’t. Even when I learned that only witches put their sacrifice in the middle and sang around it in a circle, I felt it was my intention that mattered and I had not agreed to be a witch so again I believed myself to be innocent because I never studied witchcraft to know it mirrored Delta.
Even now when I hear other members tell me that these organizations despite of their awareness of their demonic roots are for the greater good, I see them and myself as victim and witness to strong delusion. Empathetically understanding we were all bewitched by the sororities. It sold us sisterhood or a brotherhood, a camaraderie that for many never materialized. As many may have their reason for denouncing that are very separate from my own, I understood what I was getting into as far as the trauma of being yoked to people who despite of being in your “club” are not sisterly. In my beginning in Delta almost 14 years ago I was made aware that bad apples can ruin bunches and saw why others had bitterness in their mouths. But for me, my experiences in pledging and life after crossing the sands just never had enough weight for me to severe ties as much as the revelation of biblical identity and my allegiance to God has. The errors and oaths I took as a result of my ignorance and those who would suffer later as a result of my choices is all I can think of. As hindsight would reveal that I had been perishing for my lack of knowledge, I realized ignorance would not save me only God’s grace had. As bizarre as it may sound I was thanking God that I suffered through because it was indicative of the “sign” of who I was. He revealed that the patterns of generational hair loss and baldness, blindness, wedlock, poverty, divorce, adultery and a variety of seemingly unconnected events and other things prevalent in my family line were things that needed to be broken and I was being presented with the opportunity to do so through knowledge.
Suddenly all of the opposition I had experienced since birth made sense and I saw it wasn’t personal against the people. Rather than the household enemies were just vessels the enemy would use to distract me. It’s spiritual because as it took me forever to uncover the secret of who I was, Satan knew the whole time. Just as the the devil recognized Jesus, Satan knows whom the curse breakers are so he attacks us early on so we never come into our fullness. However God revealed those curses, there was a vacancy and I took it but it was all after sifting through the family nonsense, even when a lot of it was wrapped around me. If he can keep us bickering with differences that in the end don’t matter such as light against dark, short against tall, skinny against fat, educated against skilled workers, old against young, sister against brother, aunt against niece, mother against daughter we will fight like cats over balls of yarn erroneously. In the end we all develop complexes taking our inadequacies and rejections into the world to poison others with our toxic dispositions. He laughs, as we never recognize that in our civil wars there is no communications so you won’t recognize the attacks from familiar spirits forged against the whole family unit and you neglect to identify the patterns. Family secrets go untold, messages go misconstrued and where there are secrets there is bondage, and the Most High wants us to expose darkness and be free not judge each other for having demons.
For me Delta and Eastern star was just one amongst several prevalent issues in my family that would curse you up to the third and forth generation that is why I say its not personal. To think everyone prides themselves off of being legacies to these organizations established to bind your soul, but I digress. Overall for me it wasn’t personal against anyone in the organization I had bumped heads with, again as those things are bound to happen in large groups anyway. It was spiritual and these organizations have demonic cords that either go back to Egypt where these same Israelites had been in slavery before or to ancient Mesopotamia where all the gods and goddesses they worshipped would find themselves happily in our houses again, Minerva much? In the end I am here to leave my imprint and my children are my signature. How better a world of generational curse breakers with their children free of bondage than pretending to be happy with a life of suffering. I would like them to inherit good fruit, and bear an abundance of the Most High’s spiritual inheritance and not be beat down by the enemy’s covenants and so as everything else has been spiritual for me this was personal.
As for me and my house we will serve the Most High in Spirit and in truth
Our fathers have sinned and are not; and we have borne their iniquities Lamentations 5:7